his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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