There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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