I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
two words...techno handjob
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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