there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
