goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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