Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
