There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
