Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
