Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it glows. i had to have it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i think my cat just said my name.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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