It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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