You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
