you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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