Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
