My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
