whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
