I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
