I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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