and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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