he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she pinky promised me she was 18
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
