u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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