walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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