i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
