Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
