So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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