Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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