she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
