even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
