If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
