I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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