It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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