Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
