Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
