Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
