32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
