Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
