i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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