is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
