shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
