i just sent this text using only my big toe
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
