you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
