i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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