girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
