Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
