Dual....:-)
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
