so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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