so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
