I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
