my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
