Redeem this text for a blowjob
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And then the night went full on bisexual.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
