I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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