I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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